In Loving Memory

I See You

I see you as each day begins when the sun brightens the sky.

I think of you when I feel a nice cool breeze or a butterfly flies by.

As the wind blows my hair, the sun warms my face, the smell of rain fills the air.

I am reminded by these lovely things that in my heart you are always there.

I see you in a field of flowers. As the waves crash on the sand.

 I remember those last sacred moments when I held your precious hand.

I see you in rainbows, in trees and as the birds fly high. 

I see you every night when the moon lights the sky.

You're in your Daddy's face, your big brother's smile and little Ollie's reddish hair.

No one's exactly like you though. Your soul was beautiful and rare.

My sweet Ellie, it will be an honor and my lifelong duty; 

to remember you each and every day.

And see you in all the beauty.

Love,

 Your Mama

Sunrise reminded me of you the day you passed away.

A star called Ellie

The vastness of space has always been fascinating to me. The wonder, the unknown. Shortly after Ellie passed, our family enjoyed watching the new season of the TV series, The Cosmos. What we discover about our universe is incredible and it is amazing that advances in technology and research give us new information all of the time. 

What is even more lovely to me is what we don't and may never know. It is a beautiful feeling to look up at the stars and moon in the night sky and feel awe at the vastness that surrounds us. From up there, our "pale blue dot" is part of something much greater and beyond comprehension. 

With Ellie's passing, many comforting and beautiful views about a world beyond this one have been shared with us. It is lovely to think Ellie may be out there somewhere. Jumping and walking; laughing and smiling that lovely smile. Enjoying the company of those who passed on before her. To hold her in our arms again someday would be absolute bliss.  

The truth for me is, while I will always carry an open heart and mind to all possibilities, I also carry a grateful heart at peace with what is. As I ponder all the beautiful ideals of what could be after this life, I realize that what she already gave is more than enough.  Because she blessed us with her beautiful bright smile, wise and wonderful soul; we smile more often and enjoy being more present. Living for now. 

The following quote comes from Eckhart Tolle. His beautiful words describe death and the cycles of life in a way that speaks to my heart: 

"When you walk through a forest that has not been tamed and interfered with by man, you will see not only abundant life all around you, but you will also encounter fallen trees and decaying trunks, rotting leaves and decomposing matter at every step.  Wherever you look, you will find death as well as life.

Upon closer scrutiny, however, you will discover that the decomposing tree trunk and rotting leaves not only give birth to new life, but are full of life themselves.  Microorganisms are at work.  Molecules are rearranging themselves.  So death isn't to be found anywhere.  There is only the metamorphosis of life forms.  What can you learn from this?

Death is not the opposite of life.  Life has no opposite.  The opposite of death is birth.  Life is eternal."

Though none of us carry on in this form of life forever, it is lovely to know that life, in some form or another, surrounds us always. 

A most heartfelt and beautiful gift was recently presented to our family. A star was given Ellie's name. For us, it is a perfect symbol of all the gifts she gave. As it shines out there in the vast universe, we are reminded of the light she will always be to us. The star that carries the name Ellie Stevenson is yet another reminder of a beautiful life. #seeyouinallthebeauty

So much light with just one smile.